Practicing Self-Compassion by Jade Caswell, MA

As we move into the month of February, many of us may be thinking about how we can

extend love to others. While this is a meaningful cause, it is too often that we may be

neglecting to extend the same love and self-compassion towards ourselves. Many of us are our

toughest critics, and often beat ourselves up over perceived mistakes and failures. In the long

term, negative self-talk can lead to poor self-image and low self-esteem. Understanding that we

have a choice to extend compassion and love towards ourselves, instead of criticism or harsh

judgements, is the first step towards cultivating positive self-esteem and unconditional positive

regard. You may be wondering -- how do I start my journey towards self-compassion? Please

read below for helpful tips!

1. Affirmations are a great way to practice speaking in a kind way towards ourselves, and

help to replace negative self-talk we may be accustomed to. Some popular ways to practice

affirmations include writing them down in a journal, on sticky notes, or reciting them in front of

a mirror.

Some example affirmations include:

 I accept all parts of myself

 It's okay to make mistakes, I am human

 I can accept my emotions, and show kindness towards myself

 I will not let limiting beliefs hold me back from discovering my true potential

 Change can be hard, but every new day is a chance for healing and growth

 Create your own!

2. As mentioned previously, it is often easiest to be our toughest critic. When we make a

mistake, we may say negative things to ourselves such as, "I will never be successful" or "I

always mess up". Being aware of these messages, we can take a step back and ask, "If my friend

made a similar mistake, would I tell them these things? Most people would not repeat the same

messages they repeat to themselves to a friend. Most likely, they would extend a supportive or

optimistic message to a friend. You deserve this kindness too!

3. Appreciating our physical body is also an important aspect of self-compassion. The

following somatic practice helps us tune into our body and breath, appreciate the body for its

functions, and extend comfort to ourselves. Begin by placing one hand over your heart, paying

attention to the rhythmic beating. Express gratitude to your heart for keeping you alive. Next,

start connecting with your breath by placing your other hand over your belly, noticing how it

rises and falls with each inhale and exhale. Stay here for a few minutes, expressing thanks to

your body and recognizing how it feels to extend this compassion towards yourself.

4. Reciting a loving kindness meditation is invaluable in learning to extend love and

kindness towards ourselves and others. There are many different scripts available for free

online, however, here is a link to one of my favorites:

Remember, learning self-compassion is like strengthening a muscle-- You wouldn't expect to

visit the gym in one visit and gain muscle. The same is true for attaining a sense of self-

compassion- practicing these interventions regularly will result in greatest benefit.

https://www.letss.org.au/images/Loving_Kindness_Meditation_Worksheet_edited.pdf

For greatest benefit, try practicing a few times a week, and seeing how your perspective on

yourself, others, and the world changes!

Making and Keeping your New Year's Resolutions by Jade Caswell, MA

A New Year bring new hopes, goals and dreams for the future. If you are like many people, you

might be considering setting New Year's resolutions. While these may be easy to set, it is often

more difficult to stick with them. Oftentimes, we set goals that are too vague or do not draw up

actionable steps towards realizing our goals. Because of this, we may find ourselves not

knowing where to start or failing to achieve our goals altogether. By following SMART goals, we

have a better chance at setting and attaining our resolutions for the new year. Learn more

about the acronym, and how to set SMART goals below.

Make your goal SPECIFIC

This means that you know what your goals is, and make it as detailed as possible. Instead of

setting a goal to cut down on drinking in 2023, you could instead set a goal to reduce alcohol

consumption by 2-3 drinks per week. Setting specific goals helps us stay on track, visualize our

goals, and increase motivation towards them.

Make your goal Measurable

Try to think about how you will track progress towards your goal. For instance, if you are trying

to cut down on drinking, how will you track how many units of alcohol you have consumed per

week? Consider using a chart, scale, or any other unit of measurement to track your progress.

Make your goal Achievable

Although some of us may be tempted to set resolutions such as to lose 20 pounds by next month,

or to cut down on all sugar consumption by next week, these goals are often unrealistic, and don't

allow for gradual progress in an acceptable timeframe. Setting goals that are unrealistic can

often lead to feelings of failure or frustration when we do not reach them, however, we can

avoid this by asking ourselves if our goals are achievable with appropriate time and effort.

Make your goal Relevant

Ask yourself, "Is this a goal that is meaningful to me?". This is one of the most important steps of

setting SMART goals. If a goal is not meaningful or relevant to an individual's life, it will be

difficult to find the motivation to achieve the goal.

Make your goal Timely

Be sure to set a realistic deadline for your goal. For instance, losing 20 pounds by next month

may not be timely or realistic, but losing 20 pounds within a 6 month timeframe may be. Put

simply, give yourself enough time to reach your goals! In addition, be realistic with how much time,

effort and resources you may be willing to put forth to achieve your goals.

If you have followed all of the SMART goal steps - Congratulations! You are one step closer to

reaching and achieving your goals this year!

By Jade Caswell, MA, Licensed Mental Health Counselor Associate

The Importance of Mindfulness by Jade Caswell, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern

If you have had a session with one our therapists, or have read a self-help book recently,

chances are you have heard of the benefits of practicing mindfulness. But what is it? And how

can you practice? These are topics we will be discovering below.

Mindfulness, in simple terms, means connecting with the present moment. Oftentimes, our

minds are busy worrying about the future or ruminating over the past, which can lead us to

experience a variety of painful emotions, including anxiety and depression. Think about how

often we experience feelings of sadness, regret or pain when we are stuck in the past or

worrying about what may happen in the future. When we practice mindfulness, or simply bring

ourselves into the present moment, we can begin to experience a sense of grounding and relief.

The benefits of mindfulness have been well-researched and include slowing brain aging, stress

relief and relaxation, emotional regulation, and improved concentration. Mindfulness is not

only a buzzword or a fad, it's research-backed and included in therapeutic approaches such as

Dialectic Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Positive

Psychology.

Starting a mindfulness practice can be easy, quick, requires no cost, and is accessible to anyone.

While only a few mindfulness techniques will be covered in this blog, there are, in fact,

numerous ways of practicing mindfulness. You can even come up with your own practice that

suits your needs. Almost any activity- eating, walking, breathing, etc. can be practiced

mindfully. What is most important is that you are focusing on the existence of the present

moment, and non-critically observing any thoughts, feelings or sensations that come up.

Remember to catch yourself if you are fading into the past or worrying about the future. This

does not serve you in the present moment. Below are two mindfulness practices to try out.

Breathwork

Focusing on the breath is one of the simplest mindfulness techniques. When we are connected

with our breath, our minds and bodies are united, and we can access a sense of peace and

grounding.

1. Start by relaxing your gaze or closing eyes and getting into a comfortable position.

2. Breathe in through your nose and count slowly (1-2-3-4)

3. Hold your breath for a count of 7 (1-2-3-4-5-6-7)

4. Breathe out for a count of 8 (1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8)

As you are doing this exercise, pay attention to the present moment. Notice any thoughts or

feelings you are having. Become aware of how your breath enters and exits the body. Do

not worry if your mind wanders, just do your best to try to bring your attention back to your

breath. Remember, there is no ";right" way to do this exercise. Repeat this process for 5-60

minutes.

Walking Meditation

Practicing a walking meditation is similar to the breath exercise, because it is all about paying

attention to our thoughts, feelings and sensations in the moment. This exercise, however, is

more active and can encourage us to get outside and appreciate our natural surroundings.

1. Choose a safe place where you can walk- in nature, in the city, in your own home, etc.

2. Take a few deep breaths to begin your practice. Deep inhales through your nose and exhales

out through your mouth.

3. Take small, slow steps and observe your movement. How is the ground supporting your feet?

Notice the lifting of your feet, shifting of weight, or swaying of your arms.

4. Take a moment to observe any sounds you are hearing. For example, are there sounds of

cars around you or waves crashing on the beach?

5. Notice any thoughts you are having and bring yourself back into the present moment. It is

normal if the mind wanders, just do your best to try to bring your attention back to the present.

Seal your practice by thanking yourself for making time for YOU and express gratitude for the

present moment.

Note: Other mindfulness exercises may be found on previous blog posts. These include "Simple

Mindfulness Exercise: Three Senses" and "A Simple Mindfulness Exercise: Coming back to

yourself".